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Hello, friends! As I’m sure you’ve noticed, things have been a bit sparse around here lately. A lot has been going on, and I haven’t been sure how or if it was something I wanted to get into here. I keep things pretty real in this space, but I also try to keep them light and somewhat pleasant. Anyway, I wanted to give you guys an update and let you know that I am going to try to get things back on track as soon as I can.
First of all, yours truly let her acupuncturist talk her into stepping down her meds finally. We tried this right after I first started seeing her, with a certain amount of success. I went from full dose of two meds to a half dose of a single. We’ve spent the last year getting my body calibrated, and for two or three months now, she has been encouraging me to do another step down. I’ve resisted, things have been so busy, but with the new year offering up a long weekend, I decided to give it a try. The last two weeks have been absolutely miserable. I assumed that this round would be exactly like the first, but I’ve had every bad reaction/withdrawal symptom possible. I’ve had to make emergency trips to the acupuncturist just to keep the constant dizziness to a level that allows me to function. FINALLY the last couple days have been almost bearable, and I’ve been able to get more done than stumble through work and curl up on the couch as soon as I get home.
To top it all off, I am still trying to unravel all of the convoluted mess that is left in the wake of losing my dad. He had no will, so no one will talk to me; I had to hire a lawyer to help me navigate the legal quagmire. Even still, things are daunting, and I feel like I am striding forward as quickly and purposefully as I can, only to look up and realized that somehow I’ve circled back to where I was before. Hours of work with nothing to show for it but frustration (and a few tears). All of the uncertainty and banging my head against the wall is really messing with the grieving process. I can’t move past where I am and I get mad at my dad for leaving me to figure everything out and then I feel guilty for getting mad. In the worst moments, I start worry about losing my mom and how I’ll be “alone” because all my immediate family will be gone. It’s crazy: I have Andy and loads of extended family not to mention all of his family, but I get in that place and sometimes chocolate can’t fix it.
Anyway, that is where I’ve been and what has been going on. I am going to try to get things back to normal, but I sincerely appreciate how patient you guys have been with me.
Image from here.
I like jewelry, a lot, but on the average day my accessories are pretty minimal. Now don’t get me wrong: I have plenty of over the top statement pieces to go with the occasional night out -I mean, it is the closest thing to grown-up dress up-, but for your average Wednesday? I have some pretty pieces, but they’re subtle and small enough to not get caught up on things as I move about. One of the hardest things for me to wear is rings. I craft, I type, I bake, I work with my hands all the time, and until I got married, rings were too much of a hassle to work with.
Lately however, I’ve been thinking about how I eventually got used to my wedding band (so much so that I feel naked without it), and I was thinking I might want to add a delicate right hand ring to my daily ensemble. It would be something that would make me feel a little special, and since it’d be small, it’d be less likely that it would be cumbersome. Plus, I looked at them on my phone once and now I am getting all sorts of shop ads on my Instagram feed. So many wonderful companies, and so many pretty things! How is a girl supposed to decide? Since I’ve been considering this addition a little more seriously, I’ve started to compile a list of options, some at all price points, and these are a few of my current top contenders.
- Petite Double Moonstone Ring – Moonstone Magic Jewelry
- Moon Guardian Ring – Catbird
- Butterfly Diamond Band – Audry Rose
- Opal Diamond Ring – Free People
- Marquise Ring – Tippy Taste
- Dainty Set – Rose & Choc
- Cluster Ring – Ferko’s Fine Jewelry
- Teardrop Diamond & Topaz Stack – Nordstrom
- Art Deco Band – Gems Box
So far #3 and #7 are the front runners, but they’re both at a high enough price point that I am disinclined to just go out and buy one of them without a good reason. I figure my birthday is a few months away and I should probably wait until then. That’ll also ensure that I won’t spend all that money on something that I end up not wearing.
2018. 20-18. 2-0-1-8. Yeah, 2017 was a pretty intense year all around. With everything that has been going on in my personal life, I sort of let the last few days of the year slide on by in a blur of Netflix, purloined sweatshirts, and napping. Yesterday, I started pulling things together, and metaphorically sticking my toe out the door to see if it was safe to leave my little year end hidey-hole and re-engage with the world. So far so good. The overwhelming sentiment on social media and among my friends and colleagues is one of optimism, and in some cases a scary level of determination to make this year “better”, by force if necessary, but where does that leave me? This year more than ever I am deferring to the “my new year starts on my birthday” excuse/reasoning. I am so not ready to make out my yearly “to-do” list, but I do have some general ideas on how I would like things to go down:
- Stop comparing – it’s something we all do, and in a world full of Instagram perfection and Pinterest-worthy post, it’s hard to avoid. Ultimately though, it just makes you crazy and that is in no way helpful to the process. So this year I am going to try to focus on living my best life. Am I out of bed and functioning? Win! Did have the energy to do laundry and get dinner on the table? Self-five! We all have our own struggles and while we can find inspiration with others, it important to understand that our #bestlife may not look anything like someone else’s, and that’s completely fine.
- Self care – this goal is partly a continuation of the stop comparing and partly because we are working on stepping down the big daily med I’ve been on for years. For this to be successful, I am going to have to make sure I am listening to my body and what it needs as well as mindfully setting aside time to meditate/rest/whatever I need to be my healthiest. Which as a step, and this is hard for a chubby girl to admit, I am going to try to stop worrying about my weight. Seems strange right? But I am going to focus on good, healthy foods and eating in a way that provides sustainable energy and a more harmonious body, and keep my eyes off the scale for a while.
- Be grateful – life has given me a lot. Not as much as some (that comparison thing again), but much, much more than others. It’s good to have goals and to work towards something “better”, but it’s just as important to be mindful of what you’ve accomplished and to send up a general “thank you” to the universe from time to time. I am going to endeavor to end each day by listing three things I am grateful for AND I am going to verbalize them, probably to Andy. He’ll be so pleased 🙂
So that’s it. Those are the three things that I want from this new year. No biggie, right?
Image from here.