If social media has taught us anything, it would be that people often have very strong feelings about things. Sometimes it’s the “big” things like politics or religion, and sometimes it’s something incredibly inane. One of the funniest rants I ever heard actually came from my husband about how he hates Tuesdays. So on my husbands least favorite day, I have decided to share with you a few of the ridiculous things that I “hate”.
- The word moist, unless it is being used to describe a piece of cake (and even then), has no positive connotations for me. It brings to mind images of sweaty palms and damp moldy places (shudder).
- The girly simpering shit storm that is going on about the movie Me Before You. (Spoiler Alert). I have heard all of the “pro” arguments for this movie, and for me, it comes down to this: he loves her, but not enough to set aside his epic self pity party. He doesn’t want to live life the “way” he is; he doesn’t want to “burden” her with his existence? Seriously, guy? What about the thousands of disabled people in this world? Do they not deserve a full life? To find love and be with someone “normal”? Plus, he is crazy rich; he could have a fleet of care givers giving him piggy back rides down hiking trails or mountain climbing or whatever adventure the two of them want. Just saying.
- Leggings. For the love of cupcakes, people, leggings are NOT pants. Yes, they cover your legs, but anything thin enough to show your butt dimples or the color of your panties should be worn with another article of clothing that can cover, at the very least, your butt. Also, just because you can wear something doesn’t mean you should. I can fit my thunder thighs into a pair of XS leggings with obscene amount of wiggling and some heavy breathing, but when a garment is stretched to the point of being translucent, you should go ahead and give it a pass.
- On the subject of clothing, I have recently discovered a deep and abiding hatred for short shorts. I think women should be able to wear whatever they want, but I don’t want to see someones ass checks hanging out the back of their shorts. Plus, I live in Florida where 95% of the population is always sweating and I don’t want to have to sit on a chair that recently played host to someones sweaty bare bottom and sometimes more than that. It seems that while it is okay having the bottom inch and a half of your bottom exposed, having your panties peaking out is absolutely mortifying. Short shorts + no underwear = far more than I wanted to see while enjoying lunch in the mall food court.
- Cilantro. The downside to my love of ethnic dining, since it inevitably shows up in most Latin and Indian dishes. I’ve tried, I really have, but to me, it tastes like lawn clippings and soap. We had to stop going to one of the Indian restaurants in town because I made the grave misstep of politely asking our waiter if he would please ask the chef to skip the large handful of cilantro they topped their dishes with. He gleefully topped off our plates with a double dose and then proceeded to lose the ability to speak the English he had so competently used for the last year and a half of our visits. Turns out we weren’t the only patrons he had issues with and last time we went in he had been reassigned to the hostess stand.
Image from here.